Guest Columnist

Organic Networking
by Christopher Ovdyenko, 3 Jan 2006

I think one of the most difficult things I've ever done was to walk into a crowded room – where everyone seemed to know each other – walk up to a group of people, introduce myself and try to think of something to say that's clever, or at the least, relevant. I have a feeling I'm not alone. Networking, especially amongst a group you don't know, is a daunting and sometimes difficult task. I don't want to give the impression that I'm an expert on the subject, but I've have formed a few ideas and approaches that I hope you'll find helpful.

My first big realization about networking came early – and it's probably the most important. It is simply that the relationships you form while networking are just that, relationships. Like all other relationships, they are borne of mutual respect, interest, or need. That may seem like it should be self-apparent, but too often I've been shown that this is not the case. I'll point out two types of networkers who must have missed this point.

The first is the worst of the two – the “room-worker.” I hope you never meet this person. They “work a room”—meaning that they spend only enough time with you to determine whether you are “important” or can help them. I think this type of networking defeats the purpose and is ultimately self-defeating as well. Networking with colleagues should be an open meeting of peers, not a power grab. More often than not, I think these people end up getting a bad reputation at networking functions and that, of course, is less than helpful in their pursuits.

The second “ill-fated” networker is a little more redeeming, but still makes a big mistake—they come on way too strong. In these types of social gatherings, a little restraint can go a long way. I'll illustrate my point by example. I once was in a discussion with some friends (who, by the way, were once complete strangers in that crowded room I described above) when our conversation was interrupted by someone who thought it was very important to tell us that they were a graphic designer and did we know anyone who might be hiring? Now, I've since come to know this person, and he's a good guy and extremely talented, but this is not a good way to initiate a conversation. Whether borne from nervousness or just over-zealousness, if you come on too strong, you'll end up seeming self-serving, rude, or just plain weird. I think it's like having someone walk up to you and say “hey, you're really good-looking, want to get engaged?” There are better ways to make your first impression

These two examples have something in common. They both illustrate a one-sided approach to networking. A more effective way of growing your circle of contacts, and hopefully building friendships, is to approach the situation seeking to not only further your own interests but to actively engage people on a level of their interest. When I'm meeting new people at a social function, I often start by introducing myself, and then asking them something about themselves—preferably something that seems appropriate and leaves a door open for them to start talking about something that might interest them.

Sometimes its not easy, especially if they don't seem to respond the way you'd hope. I'll usually say something like “It was nice meeting you” and walk away knowing that at least I came into the situation with good intentions. The important thing when you're in “unfriendly” territory is to conduct yourself with good graces and above all else NOT hold the other person or people in disregard. There could be any number of reasons that you weren't received warmly and more than likely it had nothing to do with you.­

In addition to doing your best not to be like the examples above, the most effective approach to networking I've learned might not be right for everyone, but it is by far the best way to expand your contacts quickly. No, this isn't a networking wonder-elixer, I'm talking about volunteering to help the organization that holds the events where you think you'll find the people that can help you most. This requires two things—the first is that you correctly identify the right organization, and the second is that you are willing, able, and genuinely interested in helping them out. Assuming you've got both, this will quickly acquaint you with the people who are very likely to be able to introduce you to the folks they know, and so on.

The reason I consider this to be the most effective approach is because it allows you to form lasting relationships on more than a surface level. If you're sincere in your desire to help, do a good job of what you're asked, and have fun while you do it, people will notice. It also shows them what your work ethic and/or talents may be and they will be much more inclined to help you should the opportunity arise. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that you'll also enrich your life in a multitude of meaningful ways. This is your classic win-win. The other important thing to mention is that this approach is near impossible not to start if you decide its right for you because the groups that throw networking events are almost always looking for volunteers. When the time's right, simply go up to someone who seems to be working for the group and let them know you'd like to help. They'll take it from there.

I'd like to close this article by saying that networking is a two-way street. By being yourself, having an openness to others and enjoying the encounters and friendships you build along the way, networking events won't seem to be arduous or difficult tasks you know are necessary, but rather opportunities that can further your professional endeavors, your knowledge of your industry, and enrich your life in the process.

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